Leslie Morgan Steiner seemed to have the world at her disposal. She was in her 20s, a Harvard grad with big ambitions, living and working in New York City.
Until she met Conor.
“He was so intensely interested in me,” says Steiner of meeting the man who would later become her abusive husband.
The two dated for some time and later moved to New England, where they made plans to marry. But not before Steiner became harshly acquainted with Conor’s violent streak.
A Broken Computer
“The first physical attack started five days before our wedding,” she recalls.
Steiner said she was working on a broken computer when she expressed frustration. That didn’t sit too well with Conor.
“His rage just took over. He grabbed me around the neck and he squeezed my throat … and he banged me against the wall several times and then kind of threw me down on the floor, and then left,” she describes.
Although Steiner did attempt to seek help after that first attack, she didn’t believe it was enough to justify calling off the wedding.
“I never knew anything about domestic violence … I [just] thought I was in love with a very troubled man,” she says.
But things did not turn around. In fact, the situation grew worse. Steiner says being beaten twice on her honeymoon was only the beginning of a marriage mired in abuse and isolation from her family and friends.
“He worshipped me and denigrated me at the same time,” she explains.
After years of absorbing the physical and mental trauma, Steiner finally had all she could take.
The Final Beating
After spending a summer apart from her husband, Steiner resolved that she could no longer take the abuse. She told her husband not to hit her again and had an epiphany of sorts.
“It was like a stranger was in my bedroom, choking me and kicking me,” she says.
But she realized the severity of her situation when Conor beat her for what became the last time.
“That final beating, it changed something in me. It made me realize this was a very dangerous game I was playing,” she says. “All of my denial dissolved.”
Steiner is now happily remarried and has a new family. Looking back, she understands that things could have ended another way.
“I’m very lucky that I’m alive.”
Steiner tells her story in the new book, Crazy Love.