July 29, 2010
I spent five years in an abusive relationship, all the while not believing I was a "battered" woman. I didn't get hit everyday, so I wrongly assumed that label didn't apply to me. No one knew in my life either - I went to work everyday and did a good job. I was 35 years old.
This man was the love of my life, my best friend, he GOT me. I gave myself up, mind, body and soul to him. He was erratic, emotional, passionate and violent. He almost killed me one cold December. When he would get violent, he'd make me strip naked - he knew I wouldn't leave the house like that.
I had opportunity finally and left almost 8 years ago. I rebuilt my credit (something else most women don't know but not only do they psychologically suffer, they are usually bankrupted as well by their abuser) and eventually bought my own home. I went into hiding for two years without a permanent address and moved out of state. I'm back home now, but will permanently have to be "in hiding." He called my ex-husband's home A YEAR AGO looking for me. I do know what will happen if he ever finds me and it won't be nice. He promised a long time ago he'd finish what he started if I ever left and "betrayed" him. I don't live in fear anymore, and I've come a long way from the woman I was 8 years ago even when I left.
Abused women are incredibly strong - you have to be in order to survive what goes on within your home every single day. I was glad to read your epilogue that you had remarried and had children. Eight years later, I can't even trust enough to go on a date - I don't trust myself enough to make a good choice, it's too scary.
Thank you for your book - if it stops just one woman when they get that first "off" feeling with a man, then it's saved someone. Thank you for your courage.
-- A
