August 4, 2009
Dear Leslie,
My story is similar, but I was in Spain up against an entire judicial system, with the American Consulate complacently watching the entire process.
My ex-husband, with the assistance of his abusive mafia connected family and corrupt Spanish judges, lawyers, civil servants, and law enforcement officials, has done the following:
• illegally abducted my children and possibly put their lives in danger
• embezzled all of my assets (apx. $300,000 in cash and up to over $1,000,000+ in assets) and thrown me out onto the streets with nothing
• forced me to leave Spain due to continual abuse, threats, stalking, of my ex-husband and harassment by local police.
• publicly defamed my character and reputation, in Spain and around the world.
All of this has been my punishment and retaliation for having the courage and strength to file a complaint against my ex-husband for his threats to kill and rape me, if I did not stop working and stop my efforts to become financially independent.
It is a long story, but for the past 2 years while fighting tooth and nail with the Spanish judicial system I have been researching and writing about this problem, and have found that my case is far from unusual no matter what the country.
“The world is a dangerous place; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” Albert Einstein
Sincerely,
Q.
Comments
My heart goes out to you. It is heartrending to see that there are insurmountable legal problems. When non-profit institutions set up to help you cannot help. I'm in an international legal quagmire of my own. But the parties involved are all American. My husband (I suppose soon to be ex) has a highly skilled migrant worker VISA with indefinite leave for the UK. He is threatening, after taking all our assets and forcing my daughter and I to move back to the US from London penniless, now to take our daughter back and raise her via a live-in nanny. (A year previous he claimed he was absolutely not able to take care of his child bc he was going back for his MBA, now he's engaged and wants to reconstruct an instant family from bits of the one he's destroyed) And my conclusion is, after going thro' endless for profit and non profit legal, domestic abuse, and women's agencies both in the UK and in the US, during this year, that it is a fact no one will help complex cases especially ones involving family law (unless you have a bottomless legal fund). It's simply not glamorous enough: it's not civil liberties law, it's not criminal law, it's not life-threatening (unless of course your abuser kills you and then you get all sorts of attention, finally when it's too late *ahem*) it's family law, one of the most marginalized areas of law and some of the worst lawyers, who are perhaps a rung above ambulance chasers, dwell in the realm of family law.
And truth be told, no really cares about family law and no one really cares about domestic abuse or even child abuse unless it is the abused parties themselves.
My husband threatened to take my daughter from me since she was two months old (now she's seven) whenever I've tried to leave him after his physically violent and verbally abusive bouts of drinking, *stress,* or *overwork at the office.*
Oh, did I fail to mention we're also both grads of HU(where LMS went to college). My husband went to private schools and his father and grandfather were both well-educated professionals like Leslie's father. My parents are retired university professors. You don't have to be from the wrong side of the tracks to be violent and have a multi-generational, anger management (as well as alcohol addiction) problems. These men are good at hiding their Mr. Hyde, everyone believes they are the respectable Dr. Jekyll and that the abused woman is crazy.