July 22, 2009
My story is after my divorce, I was seeing someone who I had known for years, and got pregnant after three months of just casual dating and having fun. He promised me he would take good care of me and our child, would work, and would fix up my house, which I had bought six months before.
I can say things were good until I was eight months pregnant and I noticed the temper escalating and he began throwing things, once at me, buy he would make up excuses because he was drunk or stressed. Once our son was born, now almost 7 years ago, he started to physically do things to me. A total of three times of physical abuse.
I called the police and they took him away to jail for three months. I was relieved. But then he was out before the three months.
He would call me at least 30 times a day, leaving rude messages or just hanging up. I would not pick up the phone for anyone. I would get up in the morning and find cigarette butts on my driveway, in my backyard. I put up with that fear of the unknown, insomnia, and paranoia. I moved out of the area all together, about a 20 minute drive to another town. I told no one except my mom and sister.
He doesn't know where I am. He does not want to have anything to do with my son, which suits me fine. His family doesn't seem to care either.
I still maintain my safety planning everyday.
I was especially pleased to read that you did meet someone good, truly loving. I have never looked for a man to get involved with, and I find after being on my own for now 6.5 years, I still have doubts with "good men out there". I am scared to trust.
Thank you so much for writing this book. I feel it was such an inspiration to me, especially when you wrote about the interview you had with the man who studied abusive men. The manipulation is so clever that you question yourself so much.
I do wish you, and your family a wonderful life, and I hope Connor rots in .....
-- K
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